"Before hospitality was a business, it was more of a virtue — a barometer of civilization."

"And in light of the past year, and the extreme hospitality expected from workers during a global pandemic, it might be helpful to think of it that way again. Ancient ideas of hospitality were in place to protect pilgrims, travelers, immigrants and others who looked to strangers for food and shelter on the road. At the root of hospitality is the Latin word 'hostis,' wrote the philosopher Anne Dufourmantelle, which means guest, but also enemy.... Writing about the ethics and politics of hospitality, another philosopher, Jacques Derrida, claimed that 'unconditional hospitality is impossible.' It’s never been reasonable to expect infinite generosity, but that idea has still shaped the industry in countless ways.... The art critic John Berger often talked about hospitality as necessary to his understanding of art and culture, to the act of storytelling, to being human. Hospitality, to him, was a continuous and conscious choice — to listen, to be kind, to be open. If an exchange relied on someone’s exploitation? That wasn’t hospitality at all."

From "What Is Hospitality? The Current Answer Doesn’t Work/The host-guest relationship puts all the onus on the server, particularly during the pandemic, and points to the dysfunction at the heart of the business" (NYT).

FROM THE EMAIL: SGT Ted writes: 

The author is conflating the modern Hospitality Industry of restaurants and hotels, which is a broad marketing term, with the ancient cultural notions of traveling guest/host relationships to force a political point. The latter is a social contract meant to foster peaceful relations between strangers and the former is an expectation of a particular level of service based on whatever the level of service is being sold. A fancy restaurant has a level of expected hospitality that is far above that of a cheap diner or a hotdog stand. Then, the article tries to expand the definition of hospitality in order to tie employer/employee relationships, working conditions and wages with the term hospitality. Those things have nothing to do with that word. The logic fails.

Yes, I excerpted the part I found interesting, but most of the article is a plea for better pay for restaurant workers.

Dave Grohl and Mick Jagger endeavor — as only 2 old and punkish men can — to sing us all out of the lockdown.

 

Lyrics by Mick. I'm printing them out even though they're written on the screen so you'll have no trouble discerning them through the earnest noise. I'm just guessing you won't listen through. Plus, if we can read them, we can analyze them:

We took it on the chin/The numbers were so grim/Bossed around by pricks/Stiffen upper lips...

Pricks/Stiffen...  That's literary art.

Pacing in the yard/You're trying to take the Mick...

To take the mick is to tease somebody, and his name is Mick, so he's taking the butt-of-the-joke position.

You must think I’m really thick/Looking at the graphs with a magnifying glass/Cancel all the tours footballs fake applause/No more travel brochures/Virtual premieres I've got nothing left to wear/Looking out from these prison walls/You got to rob Peter if you're paying Paul/But it’s easy, easy/Everything's gonna get really freaky/Alright on the night/Soon it'll be a memory you'rе trying to remember to forgеt/That's a pretty mask/But never take a chance...

He's tired of the lockdown, and you should be too. He proceeds to list the stupid things he thinks you're probably doing:

TikTok stupid dance/Took a samba class, I landed on my ass/Trying to write a tune/You better hook me up to Zoom/See my Poncey books...

"Poncey" shouldn't be capitalized there. It's not a proper name. Not like there's somebody named Poncey whose books you've been reading. "Poncey books" are just the kind of books a "ponce" would have around. What "poncey books" have you been reading (or looking at) during the lockdown?

Teach myself to cook/Way too much TV its lobotomizing me/Think I've put on weight/I'll have another drink then I'll clean the kitchen sink/We escaped from the prison walls/Open the windows and open the doors...

Time to end the lockdown.

But its easy, easy/Everything’s gonna get really freaky/Alright on the night /t’s gonna be a garden of earthly delights/Easy, sleazy it's gonna be smooth and greasy....

According to the Urban Dictionary, "Greasy" means "sketchy, fucked up or sleazy." We're told the word can apply to a wide range of things — "from, taking a picture of your bros nipple, to brutally raping someone." Yeah, but "smooth and greasy" must be on the nicer end of that disturbing continuum. 

Urban Dictionary adds: "Greasiness as a philosophy incorporates nihilistic and libertine values, it may be both respected by some and abhorred by others." "Greasiness as a philosophy" — what a concept!

Back to Mick:

Yeah easy, believe me/It’ll only be a memory you're trying to remember to forget/Shooting the vaccine Bill Gates is in my bloodstream/It's mind control....

Ha ha ha. Mick passes on the Bill Gates conspiracy theory.

The earth is flat and cold/It's never warming up/The arctic’s turned to slush/The second coming's late/There's aliens in the deep state....

Mick makes sure we understand the conspiracy theories are nutty. 

And now we're coming in for a landing. It's all repetition from here on out... except for one very funny line that harks back to the grand old Stones-versus-Beatles question:

We'll escape from these prison walls/Now were out of these prison walls/You gotta pay Peter if you're robbing Paul/But it's easy, easy/Everything's gonna be really freaky/Alright on the night/We're all headed back to paradise/Yeah easy, believe me/It'll be a memory you're trying to remember to forget/Easy, cheesy, everyone sing ‘Please Please Me'/It'll be a memory you're trying to remember to forget....

Does Mick comically gives the victory to The Beatles? "Everyone sing 'Please Please Me.'" Oh, I don't think so. I think he's saying we're sick of the lockdown and sick of everyone coming together and earnestly pleasing everyone who's demanding to be pleased. Time to break out with some individualism, and please yourself.

 

FROM THE EMAIL: Khematite points to "No More Lockdown" by Van Morrison (from last October). Lyrics here. Sample: "No more lockdown/No more government overreach/No more fascist police/Disturbing our peace/No more taking of our freedom/And our God-given rights/Pretending it's for our safety/When it's really to enslave/Who's running our country?/Who's running our world?"

I never noticed that before, so I have to assume that it didn't get much attention. Why not? Too right wing?!

AND: Joseph writes: 

I enjoyed the analysis of Mick's single. I think Van Morrison has recorded at least four tracks, one with Eric Clapton, criticizing the lockdown. Some grousing about it ensued, as you might expect. One of the complainers was Rolling Stone, and you'd think a magazine that sees its circulation shrinking as interest in music fades might pause to consider the effect all this staying at home will have on live music and, by extension, on music as a cultural phenomenon. In truth, Van, Springsteen, et.al. are probably the last generation of musicians to bring people into large venues. They're driven to play live. None of them needs the money, but neither did Johnny Cash or BB King, who toured until the end. It feeds a need in them. 

On a more mundane, local level, this last year has probably killed live music in bars and restaurants. It was already in trouble. Musicians I know who play regularly are in four different bands and are still lucky to play once every weekend. When my wife and I were in a couple of bands in the 90s, we played 5 gigs a month in a bad month, as many as 7 or 8 in good months. Part of this change is generational. People under 40 just don't go out to a bar to hear music. Another thing that changed the interest in live music--and I know this is not a popular observation--is non-smoking laws passed by various state and local governments. If you tell people they can't smoke and, on top of that, decrease the acceptable level of alcohol to a point that if they have more than a beer or two they risk a DUI, they stay home. I'm willing to bet that you can chart the decline in live music to non-smoking laws and the success of MADD.

"Like everyone else, introverts are excited about seeing family and close friends in person, dining in restaurants, traveling and all the other pleasures of a good life."

"But most are not interested in facing the forced small talk, the big parties, the noisy open offices and all the demands of extroverts who think more is more and introverts should try harder.... Many people believe introverts are cold, shy or socially anxious — but those stereotypes are misleading. They love people, but in small doses.... There’s some brain science to explain the behavior: Extroverts are less sensitive to dopamine, the 'feel-good' chemical that affects the brain’s pleasure center, and require more stimulation to be happy and energized. For introverts, a little dopamine goes a long way, and too much of anything can be exhausting. When restrictions were imposed last year, 'I had extrovert friends who were just losing their minds'.... But introverts were finally getting the uninterrupted time they craved.... Many professionals are questioning the value of returning to the 9-to-5 office — introverts because they prefer to work alone, extroverts because their lives would be simpler. Is getting dressed, enduring a commute and sitting at a desk really necessary?... Now introverts have colleagues — including plenty of extroverts — advocating to work from home part or full time. What happens next might depend on who’s in power. Extroverted bosses like the hustle and bustle of a traditional office. Introverted bosses may be more open to a hybrid workplace...."

From "Meet the introverts who are dreading a return to normal" (WaPo). 

Here's a perfect little TikTok I happened upon yesterday. It expresses some of what you see in that article:

@mallorydlc

has wfh changed you? #wfh #homeoffice #thoughts

♬ Sweden - FamilyJules

FROM THE EMAIL: kylos writes: 

Regarding the typical division of people into introverts and extroverts, I find it to be overly simplified.

When it comes to the office in particular, I don’t think preference for being in the office divides neatly according to “vertedness”.

I am by no means extroverted, enjoying quiet environments. Perhaps some would call me an introvert, but I usually perceive self-described introverts as somewhat misanthropic, so I don’t tend to like that label. I do enjoy being around people but can quickly tire of too much activity.

Anyway, all that to say I hate remote work. It definitely has pluses: no commute (but see below), I can work on my porch or with the windows open, I’m able to take care of personal things as needed, my wife and daughter are nearby, etc.

But I deeply miss personally interacting with coworkers. Zoom is not a suitable replacement for face to face conversation or simply bumping into someone in the hall. I am much more distracted and far less productive at home. I don’t get my personal time during my commute to listen to podcasts or be with my thoughts. My personal routines have suffered. By being unable to separate work and home, neither aspect of my life gets the focus it needs.

Several other coworkers who I would probably describe as introverted also have high dissatisfaction with remote work.

On the flip side, another coworker who is one of the most outgoing people I’ve met and who can’t stay focused at the office, who constantly has her ears up for any stray conversation to join seems to be thriving at home. Perhaps she’d prefer to be in the office, but her focus is much improved, she takes a lot of initiative in solving problems and seems to be much more productive overall. I can’t speak for her happiness, but she seems to do very well in the current environment.

So while I don’t particularly like the categories of introverted and extroverted, I definitely also don’t see them as neatly aligning with favoring remote work or the office.

Yes, and by the way, I don't think there is enough evidence in the TikTok video to conclude that the woman is an introvert. She speaks of aesthetic things and wanting her life to feel more unified, but we can't really tell how she relates to other people. 

You're second-to-last paragraph is a good idea for an mainstream media article. I've seen a lot about how introverts are benefiting from the lockdown, and it's presumed that it's harder for extroverts.

ALSO: Julie writes: 

I really loved the TikTok video of the woman who "can't go back" to a traditional office environment, particularly when she describes working from home with "I don't have to split myself, or my day, in half". 

I, and the folks that work with me, completely agree, which is why we've decided to stay fully remote. The pros certainly outweigh the cons for my team. Plus it's nice not to have to pay office space rent.

Though in watching the TikTok video I realize how much I miss the unexpected delights of experiencing someone else's work space. In watching mallorydlc's TikTok I've just experienced a little pang of sadness from missing other people's coffee mugs! In thinking back over the last 10 years and multiple workplaces, I think I can still describe many of my colleagues' water bottles or coffee mugs. And now these things that were virtual appendages to people only make rare appearances on video calls. They are no longer a part of my understanding of workmates. Is it an odd thing to miss? I don't know.

I also miss the hallway friendships developed with folks in other businesses in the same building. I'll never know if candy bar guy ended up marrying that one woman who used to visit him for lunch sometimes, or if large button-downed shirt guy achieved his target weight, or if sales guy still sings loudly out of his office for his own personal classic rock Friday . You don't know what you have until you lose it.

It's probably a good sign that you see and value the good in both situations. 

AND: Tim emails: 

I’m a classic introvert. One thing this discussion suffers from is lack of a clear definition of what an introvert/extrovert is. The definition I’ve found most useful is, the introvert recharges their emotional energy by being alone, the extrovert by being with other people. The introvert can fully enjoy social situations, but they need periodic alone-time. The extrovert can enjoy solitude, but they need periodic socializing.

Kylos may not like the term “introvert,” but she fits my definition perfectly.

(I don't know whether kylos is male or female.)

She’s just like me, and I can’t wait go go back to the office for all the same reasons. Plus one more—these introvert/extrovert articles seem to assume introverts should love working from home for the endless alone-time, but (apart from the fact that introverts don’t crave endless alone time) if you don’t live alone, the opposite is true. I’m never alone because everybody’s always home. I go a little nuts sometimes without that desperately needed “me time.”

Meanwhile, my classic extrovert wife loves working from home and will resist going back for all the reasons cited in that tiktok by the person we’re supposed to assume is an introvert.

ALSO: Wendy emails: 

I am amused by your introvert post, I am an introvert and have been saying since April of last year that quarantine is not an introvert's dream. Specifically not my dream it is actually a nightmare, my space where I recharge was no longer available. It could have been fantastic for me and I am sure it was fantastic for some introverts, just not all introverts.

In total, I have nine posts on my blog titled 'Introvert' and back in February, I wrote a bit about why I was looking to get back to normal. Since posting that, my kids have been in school 5 days a week, and my husband is still in the basement. I can live with that because I alluded to in my blog he doesn't have the same drain on me as my kids. I love them all but I do need a break, and he is pretty self sufficient, I don't need to keep him on track with his work, he can get his own food etc. I don't need to listen in to see if I need to intervene in a childhood argument.

Despite our society trying to put everyone on in our own box and at the same time encouraging us to yell how unique we are it is still so obvious that really we want people to remember we are the same. Did some extroverts adapt and like quarantine sure, same can be said for introverts, but introverts are not a block much like no demographic is a block. If this happened while my kids were teenagers or out of the house I think it would have been easier for me because their demands while different would have been easier to deal with.